Ever wondered why some highly intelligent individuals fall short of achieving true success in their careers and personal lives?

If you’ve been relying solely on your IQ to propel you forward, you might be missing a crucial piece of the success puzzle.

In this episode of the Living True by Design Podcast, we debunk the IQ myth and reveal the game-changer: emotional intelligence. Are you ready to unlock the secret to a more fulfilling life?

🌟BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU’LL LEARN:

• The Definition of Emotional Intelligence: Dr. Libby breaks down the components of emotional intelligence, helping you understand why it’s the missing link in achieving holistic success.
• Features of Emotional Intelligence: Explore the traits that emotionally intelligent individuals possess, from effective communication to handling conflicts and cultivating self-compassion.
• The Impact on Success: Discover why emotional intelligence outweighs IQ in the success equation and how it contributes to a thriving career and home life.
  
  

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🎧 Apple Podcast: Listen and Subscribe
🎧 Spotify: Listen and Subscribe

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Professional Bio

Are you a high-achieving, ambitious professional working mother, feeling trapped in the whirlwind of your demanding career and family responsibilities? Overwhelmed by stress, busyness, and societal expectations? Drained of energy and struggling to find balance while silently battling guilt and unfulfillment?

Welcome to a transformative journey a certified lifestyle medicine physician, experienced yoga and meditation teacher, and a mother of three. In this immersive podcast, she provides a path to authenticity, purpose, and vitality. Through tailored coaching programs, Dr. Libby Schanzmeyer equips you with the tools and strategies to regain balance and create a life aligned with your true self.

Our listeners, our clients, are high-achieving professional working mothers who have successfully transformed their lives with life design. They’ve overcome stress, found peace within their careers and personal lives, and are thriving.

Discover how to harmoniously balance your professional and personal life, relieve stress, and find your true purpose. Learn time management techniques, prioritize self-care, and regain meaning in life. Join Dr. Libby Schanzmeyer and begin your journey towards a life of ease, vitality, and impact, where authenticity leads the way.


Welcome to Living True By Design Podcast!

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Podcast Episode Transcript

Today we’re talking about this incredible secret to achieving success in life that is about emotional intelligence.

We’re talking about how important emotional intelligence is and how beneficial high emotional intelligence can be to our career, to our home, to our family. And the exciting thing is we have neuroplasticity, we have learning, we can learn a lot of this. The great thing would be if we grew up and we just picked up all this emotional intelligence over life, but a lot of us don’t have that luxury. And so it’s something we have

absolutely can learn.

Life. Understanding, learning, and practicing our emotional intelligence can give us an absolutely amazing, meaningful, fulfilling career and home life.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive, interpret, communicate.

Demonstrate, control, and evaluate.

Emotions

All these things to connect with other people constructively and effectively.

And so that’s kind of a long wordy definition. What does that look like?

So a highly emotionally intelligent person is a strong leader. They are someone that can see all sides of a situation and make the best decision from those sides. And a lot of times those sides are emotionally charged and they can handle other people’s emotions as well as their own emotions. They can let go of mistakes. They can see when others make mistakes and let go of that. They can communicate when there is a mistake.

They’re not avoiding any kind of conflict, but they’re also not elevating conflict because they aren’t taking things very, very personally.

They have a level of self-compassion and acceptance for themselves and other people. And personally, I believe that emotional intelligence starts with having these things for ourselves first and then for other people, because you can’t have things for other people that you don’t have for yourself. And it’s especially important in managing emotions of our own and other people in difficult situations. That’s where it really comes out. You know, when the rubber meets the road,

That we see how people deal with things. And at the end of the day, a lot is related to the regulation of our nervous system and that things that all the things we’ve been through our life, all these things, our emotional intelligence is based on all this whole kind of cloud of things that is around us, our whole life experience, our whole learning, our whole education, our whole family history, our whole generational history.

It all comes with us and comes in the door. And if we can walk in the door with some emotional intelligence, we have this demeanor that it is not demanding of respect, but it is respected because of what it is, because of that emotional intelligence.

So features of emotional intelligence really define a highly effective leader, a wise woman, a cherished wife and mother. Whatever your role is, if you can bring these emotional intelligence features into who you are and take that into your role, that’s gonna be your living true.

That’s going to be your designed life because it’s going to be coming from you instead of some pre-conditioned response or pre-conditioned reaction. It’ll give you the freedom and ability to respond to things in a way that you truly want to respond to them.

A lot of times people think, oh, they’re smart, so they’re gonna have a very successful career, but emotional intelligence is really overlooked.

There’s even the suggestion that emotional intelligence accounts for 75% of the success that we see in our career and our IQ accounts for only 25% of it. So that’s a huge difference in the factor, the importance of these types of intelligence in our success in our career.

And a lot of this can be associated with mindset too, because somebody with high emotional intelligence will have automatically a good mindset. It’s not something you have to white knuckle and hold onto for your mindset. It just naturally flows, because if we see things as, I do this as a practice, something that I think is difficult. I’m like, oh, well, that’s really challenging.

And I consciously have started catching myself and saying, I’m not gonna use those words, I’m gonna say this is an opportunity. And it really is fun. It’s interesting little practice to try. But that is something that we learn with emotional intelligence to see challenges as, first of all, it’s a difficulty, then, oh, no, it’s just a challenge. And then finally, oh, wait, it’s really an opportunity because there’s something on the other side of this. Maybe they’re suffering. And…

There’s something on the other side of it.

And it’s crucial because it really helps us navigate these social interactions and truly build authentic lives and authentic connections with other people. Because when you have a level of emotional intelligence, say, I’ll use me for an example, I don’t like conflict and have in the past defined myself as quote conflict avoidant. And it’s something I work on all the time and I can’t say I’ve mastered.

But if we’re emotionally intelligent, it starts to fall away that we’re having a conflict and it becomes an appreciation of the other person will they have another viewpoint? And I have my own viewpoint and we can meet and figure out the best way to move forward. And so that is an authentic connection with them versus a, you know,

Emotionally intelligent response, which would be just to avoid a conflict. And so that, if you’re avoiding conflict, you’re not creating any kind of a relationship or connection with this other person. If it’s personal, you know, work, colleague, anything, it’s not a real connection because it’s based on this like lie that you’re not telling the truth, that you have a different opinion.

You think something else is important in this situation or whatever the thing is. So it really emotional intelligence really deepens the authenticity of our connections and our expression of life. This is part of our living true by design. We’re able to live our truth when we have emotional intelligence about what we’re doing and as we navigate our way through life.

And then, you know, if we don’t practice or learn about emotional intelligence, the opposite is true, you know, we will have somewhat shallow connections and shallow relationships with people.

We can end up in relationships that are really strained because over time, if we’re not being honest with ourselves and other people, because we don’t have the capacity for doing that. And the capacity is strengthened by developing our emotional intelligence.

And this can affect our leadership in our home, in our workplace, in our career, because the more…

Because this can really cost a lot as far as leadership, both in the home and career and our professions, because we’re basically crippled if we’re unable to practice these skills.

And then when we’re crippled in our career or our home life, we can’t be the full expressions of who we are and it can really get in the way of progressing in the way we want to progress.

And so I’m advocating for a change in how we’re defining success. And instead of just, you know, a pile of stuff or, you know, moving up the ladder by promotion by promotion, I really believe it’s time to redefine success as a level of emotional intelligence that contributes not only to us, but to everyone else.

And this development of emotional intelligence is fostering connection and fostering empathy and really developing strong interpersonal skills.

And all of these things together are essential for a thriving life, for a thriving home, for a thriving family, for a thriving career.

And one of these areas is empathy, which is so dear to my heart, so, so dear. And I have learned empathy and I’ve practiced empathy and I’m still learning. I think it’s a life practice through nonviolent communication and we are gonna dive deep into nonviolent communication because I believe it’s so effective and such a wonderful strategy for connecting honestly with ourselves, connecting honestly with other people and really

Expressing ourselves clearly and honestly and connecting with other people in ways that are really, really important. This is a side note, and we’ll talk about it later, but one example of a really great way to use empathetic connection with other people is by saying, thank you. Instead of being like, thanks, I was really happy to see you the other day.

Instead of that, we say, thanks for coming by. When you showed up on my birthday and brought me a balloon, it touched my heart because I was really feeling lonely and it felt really, really good to connect with a friend in that moment. And that’s just a very small little example, but that’s part of the way that can help because if we give more granular information,

It helps draw us together and have closer connections, then the other person can really feel what you’re saying about appreciation. Instead of some vague thing, if we’re specific about it, it is very meaningful and enriching to relationships and each other. But that’s a whole other thing. We’re gonna talk about NVC a lot more.

So by nurturing our, by nurturing the emotional intelligence of ourselves and others, we are not only enhancing the understanding of other people.

But we are cultivating a home and workplace environment.

That promotes collaboration, innovation, connection.

Well-being and harmony.

And our homes and careers.

So today I’d like to invite you to practice some emotional intelligence, learn more about it. If there’s an area of life that isn’t working, I invite you to look at it through the lens of emotional intelligence and how emotional intelligence could really benefit that area of your life.

And please come on over and join our Living True by Design Facebook group. We are in there, excited to support you and get to know you and hang out with you and be friends with you.

The group is all about learning and support and connection.

And I’ll be in there giving strategies on how to improve our emotional intelligence.

Intelligence, if you wanna be in a group of people who are committed to emotional intelligence like you are, come join this group.

So stay tuned. Next week, we are gonna be talking about a really interesting subject and it’s something I’ve thought about for years and approached in different ways and tried different strategies. And it’s the idea of freaking out or people use the term being triggered, but I’ve thought of it as freaking out for a long time. So we’re gonna call it freaking out.

So we’re gonna talk about freaking out and the window of tolerance. Have you heard of the window of tolerance before?

We’re gonna talk about how these ideas of freaking out are being triggered and our window of tolerance,

Understanding the window of tolerance will help really manage our emotions and our reactive tendencies in emotional or tense situations.

We’ll talk about practical tips on how to keep our cool in tough situations.

Because life throws all kinds of stuff at us all the time.

I’m tuning because I’m gonna tell you my secret technique of stop, drop, and roll when you feel triggered. Because when we feel triggered, we can’t think straight because we’re actually in a different part of our brain. So we just have to remember stop, drop, and roll.

Thanks for joining us and remember, show up, focus and shine as you live true by design.